


We Go On

by Revans_Mask



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Jyn Erso, Bittersweet, Cunnilingus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fingerfucking, Hints of Past Jyn/Cassian, Hope, Lesbian Enfys Nest, Rare Pairings, Rough Sex, Smut, Strap-Ons, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:59:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revans_Mask/pseuds/Revans_Mask
Summary: Jyn Erso barely lived through the mission to Scarif, but after the battle, she ended up languishing in an imperial prison. Enfys Nest rescued her and helped her find a reason to live once more before the two parted.  Now, thrown together again, they must try to survive the final attack on the Empire and navigate their own complicated feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When it comes to rare pairs, I just can't help myself. Ever since Rogue One came out, I've wanted to write a story with Jyn Erso, and something about Enfys Nest from Solo called to me. So welcome aboard for this short diversion, and thank you for your feedback.

She was supposed to have died on Scarif. Even before the shit hit the fan in earnest, Jyn Erso had suspected there would be no coming back from the mission to retrieve the Death Star plans. It was the choice she’d made, and in those last moments, she’d been at peace with it. Krennic was dead, the plans had been sent to the Rebels, and her father’s revenge was complete. She’d stood on the beach, holding Cassian in her arms, as the wave of burning light approached.

It was as good an end as someone like her was going to get, except that it wasn’t the end. The blast from the Death Star must’ve hit further out to sea than she’d thought, because instead of vaporizing Jyn instantly, all the impact brought was searing pain, followed swiftly by darkness.

When she awoke, she hadn’t been sure where she was, but the exact location didn’t matter, because the Empire had her. They’d patched up her injuries, only so they could hurt her again. For the next few days, they’d used mind probes, drugs, torture droids, and whatever else they could think of in an effort to make her give them the location of the rebel base.

They’d gotten shit to show for it. There was nothing left they could threaten her with, nothing that could hurt her anymore. Everyone Jyn had ever cared about, or who’d cared about her was already gone. Her parents, Saw Gerrera, the rest of Rogue One… Somewhere in the midst of the pain, she had tried to ask about Cassian, but the interrogators hadn’t bothered answering.

And then, without any explanation, it had stopped. For some reason, the Empire had lost all interest in Jyn Erso. Maybe they’d found the base on Yavin IV some other way. Maybe the Rebels had moved on from there. For all she knew, the Emperor had abdicated to take up pod racing.

Whatever the real story, Jyn was left to rot. For how long, she had no way to tell. The only thing that marked the passage of time was the delivery of her meals, and eating the dreadful food was the only way to break the monotony of sitting in a dim cell. Alone in the darkness, the days blended together, filled with nothing but memories of what she’d lost, and doubts over what she’d accomplished.

She wondered if Cassian had survived. After all, she was still alive, so maybe… But probably not. He’d been shot, already in bad shape before the blast hit. And really, it was better if he hadn’t. Otherwise, he’d just be in a cell like hers, trapped in this same nightmare. Let him be done with all of this.

Aside from K, Jyn couldn’t be sure about the others who’d come with her to Scarif either, but there was little chance they’d made it off alive. Sometimes, she wished that the blast had vaporized her too. At others, she wondered if it had. Maybe this was what came afterward, not union with the Force, or some kind of peace, just an endless twilight where nothing ever happened and nothing ever changed.

Until it did. Somewhere in the resting portion of the endless cycles of sleeping, eating, and relieving herself in the cell’s small toilet, Jyn heard a noise other than the slow, measured sound of the footsteps that brought her food. Startled, she bolted up in her narrow bed, looking around although there was nothing for her to see.

The sounds that followed were ones she knew, but after so long, they were strange to her. The pounding of boots on metal. The hum of blasters. The screams of men in pain. And then, once the guns had fallen silent, a hiss as the door in front of her slid open.

Light flooded into her cell, forcing Jyn to turn away. It was too much, too bright, and she squeezed her eyes shut even as the sounds of battle continued to fill her ears. After so long spent without stimulation, she couldn’t sort it all out.

What finally cut through the confusion was a voice, the first beside her own she had heard in ages. It took her a second to realize what it was saying but there was something about the harsh, mechanical tones that finally penetrated her brain. “Everybody move! The Imperial reinforcements are two minutes out!”

Jyn didn’t have the faintest clue who the man speaking was, but he wasn’t with the Empire, which would have to do. Staggering out of her cell, she opened her eyes a crack and looked around. A few meters away were the bodies of a pair of guards in imperial uniforms, and further down the hall, she could make out other, living people moving about, their shapes if not their identities.

“Over here.” Her voice broke on the attempt to yell, but she tried again anyway. “I’m over here.”

One of the figures turned toward her, and Jyn’s eyes had adjusted enough to see a bit more. It was a man wearing green fatigues and a helmet. A Rebel commando, she realized. Anything could’ve happened in however long she’d been locked away, and it was a relief to realize the Rebellion still existed. _Maybe all of this wasn’t for nothing._

“This way,” the commando barked. “Now! We’re running out of time.”

As best she could, Jyn obeyed. Her legs were shaky beneath her, but she wouldn’t let herself fall. Long after she’d thought herself out of chances, one more had appeared, and she was going to take it.

At the end of the hall, she nearly tumbled into the rest of the Rebels before managing to pull up short. There were four of them, three clad in the same green fatigues, while the fourth wore silver armor fringed with fur, and a spiked helmet. When he spoke, Jyn realized that the metallic voice was his. “Is anybody else left back there?”

“I don’t know,” Jyn admitted before she remembered to ask, “Is Cassian here?”

“I have no idea,” the armored man told her before gesturing behind him. “We need to get to the ship now. We’ve hacked the outer doors along with your cells, but they’re not going to hold off the Empire forever.”

From somewhere out of sight, the dull thud of an explosion could be heard, and the Rebels fell back in the direction the armored man had pointed. They passed more bodies in the once-polished corridors, mostly Stormtroopers and imperial officers, but with a smattering of fallen Rebels mixed in.

_Everywhere I go, more death._

There was no time to dwell on that, not with the Empire closing in. A few turns led them out into hanger and by then, Jyn could see clearly. More Rebel commandos were there, leading prisoners in grey jumpsuits onto a small frigate. Another explosion sounded behind her, and Jinn picked up the pace, ignoring the way it made her unused muscles burn.

“Kessie,” the armored man said into a comm unit, “Get the ship prepped. We’re the last ones out.”

A woman’s voice answered from the other end of the line. “Gotcha, boss.”

Two seconds later, Jyn heard the low hum of the ship’s engines coming to life. Their small group ran up into ship’s hold, and once they were there and the door closed, Jyn finally let her legs give way. She fell to her hands and knees, gasping for breath. It was a pathetic state to be in, but she wasn’t alone. Many of the other prisoners must have been similarly confined, because the deck was littered with exhausted escapees, watched by a few of the commandos.

Moments later, the ship lurched and as it lifted up out of the hanger, Jyn breathed a sigh of relief. Wherever they were going, she was free. For several minutes, she just lay there, gathering back a little of her strength and appreciating that fact.

Her relief was short-lived. Now that the immediate danger had passed, there were questions she needed answered. After a few minutes of rest, Jyn pushed herself back to her feet. She caught glimpses of the other prisoner’s faces as she stumbled through the hold, but though many were human, none were Cassian, nor Bodhi, nor any other member of Rogue One.

_They weren’t in the prison. They’re dead. You just don’t want to admit it._

As she approached the commandos at the back of the hangar, one of them, a Mon Calamari woman with a gruff voice asked, “What do you want?”

Jyn took a breath, trying to decide which of her hundred questions to start with, but before she could chose, a tall, heavily-built commando stared at her, his eyes widening. “Fuck me, it’s Jyn Erso.”

The Mon Calamari was skeptical. “Really? Isn’t she supposed to be dead?”

“No, it’s definitely her,” the large commando said. “Go get the boss. She’s gonna wanna see this for herself.”

“If you say so.” The Mon Calamari shrugged and headed out of the hold, while her comrade laughed.

“Don’t mind Ryla. She’s no good at telling humans apart anyway. I was on Yavin when you met with the Alliance bosses.” Jyn nodded wearily and he added, “I’m Sgt. Crath, by the way.”

“Good to meet you sergeant,” Jyn told him, but instead of shaking his hand, she slumped back against one of the walls. Even standing still on her shaking legs took effort. How long had it taken her to get to this point? “When was that? The Empire didn’t give me a calendar.”

“About six months back,” Crath said.

“A hell of a six months,” an older human commando with a weather-beaten face added. “I’m amazed any of us made it through in one piece.”

“Oh, quit your whining, Davik,” Crath told him. “You knew what you were signing up for when you joined the Rebellion.”

“I guess I did,” the man admitted with a resigned chuckle. “But still, that was a pretty crazy stretch.”

Just then, the armored man Jyn had escaped with walked into the hold, only without their helmet on, she could see that it was actually a woman underneath.   _A pretty one too._ She had long, curly red hair, and a freckled face that made her look younger than what Jyn saw in her eyes.

“This is Jyn Erso?” the woman asked. There must have been a voice modulator in the helmet, because she sounded very different now.

But still authoritative, and Jyn tried her best to stand up straight. “I am.”

Crath nodded along with her. “Yeah, it’s kind of hard to forget the woman who stole the Death Star plans.”

“What happened to them?” Jyn asked. Had it all been for nothing? She had to know.

Unfortunately, the woman didn’t answer her directly. “A great deal, and it looks like you’re about to collapse. Come with me, Jyn Erso, and I’ll tell you everything.”

She reached out a gauntleted hand, and Jyn swallowed her pride enough to take it. Limping along with somebody else’s help was embarrassing, but she could at least avoid collapsing again.

***

A brief walk later, Jyn was sitting in the small ship’s mess, sipping some kind of hot liquid. She wasn’t sure what was in it, but it definitely beat stale water or protein sludge. The woman, Enfys Nest was her name, had sent the rest of the commandos to help the other freed inmates, but she’d stayed, watching silently as Jyn drank.

By the time the mug was empty, Jyn felt closer to human. Not all the way there. Not in her filthy prison jumpsuit, not as tired and groggy as she was. But it was progress.

“So, you asked about the Death Star plans?”

“I did.” After the drink, Jyn’s voice didn’t shake anymore, even if there was still a tightness in her chest. She’d spent so long living in doubt and uncertainty, and now she feared knowing the truth.

“We got them. Nobody that went down to Scarif came back up, and half the fleet was destroyed in the battle, but Leia got the plans back to Yavin IV.”

 _Nobody came back up._ Deep down, Jyn had known, but the news still cut deep. “And the Death Star?”

That made Enfys Nest smile. “A kid named Skywalker blew it straight to hell. With an assist from this smuggler I worked with once.”

Jyn let out a sigh of relief. Her father’s plan had worked. His sacrifice, all of their sacrifices, had been for something real. But that didn’t make the people who’d given their lives any less dead. _Except for me_. She felt like a walking corpse, alive in spite of all reason and fairness.

“That’s good,” she said, without much conviction. “What happened afterwards?”

“The Empire hit back hard. Yavin IV had to be abandoned, and the Alliance leadership has been on the run ever since.”

 _Which is why the Empire stopped torturing me. I wasn’t useful to them anymore._ It was a strange concept. She was no longer the daughter of visionary Imperial scientist Galen Erso, no longer anything that mattered to anyone else. She was another escaped criminal on a Rebel ship, nothing more.

Under the weight of so much new information Jyn fell silent, and Enfys Nest placed a hand on hers. She’d taken off her gauntlets, allowing for the first human contact Jyn had had in six months. The warmth of her skin was pleasant, and Jyn let the hand remain without comment.

It was Enfys Nest who broke the quiet. “It did hurt them, destroying the Death Star. It’s not just that they lost the a weapon, or the soldiers onboard either. It showed people they could be beaten. The Rebellion has gained a lot of new recruits since then.”

“Rebellions are built on hope…” Jyn said it wistfully, not so much to Enfys Nest as to herself. They were her words, and maybe they’d turned out to be true. _But at what cost?_

“You gave it to us.” Enfys Nest added a second hand on top of the first and smiled at Jyn. “Now go get some rest. You’ve earned it.”


	2. Chapter 2

The small moon where the Rebel base was located was unlikely to be declared one of the galaxy’s most desirable vacation spots. The vegetation was sparse, the terrain was rocky, and there was a harsh chill in the winds that whipped across the uneven ground. None of that mattered to Jyn. On Orziv, she had fresh air and plenty of space to wander. After being confined to a tiny, dark cell, that was pretty good.

The broad expanses also offered her solitude. Six months after the fact, the exploits of Rogue One had become famous, and word of her identity had spread quickly through the base. The other Rebels all wanted to get a glimpse of the great Jyn Erso.

 _The hell with that,_ Jyn thought bitterly. Let them build statues to the people who’d died. She’d rather be alone than pretend to be some kind of idol.

A sudden gust of wind slashed Jyn’s face, but she paid it no mind. At least the sting made her feel something other than the hollowness that had been lodged in her chest ever since Scarif. Its whistle also masked the footsteps of the person coming toward her, at least for a little while. Even with her instincts dulled by confinement, Jyn retained enough awareness to turn before they got too close.

Out of her armor, Enfys Nest was built much like Jyn herself, albeit taller, but even though she was slim, there was an obvious strength in the way she walked.

“What do you need?” Jyn asked. Unlike most people, Enfys Nest didn’t fawn over her, but Jyn still wasn’t eager to be disturbed.

“There’s something I thought you needed to know. Our JN-66 finished decoding the records the we took from your prison.”

“And?”

“When the Empire found you on Scarif, Cassian Andor was already dead. He’d bled out from a blaster wound.”

It wasn’t a shock. After realizing that Cassian hadn’t been rescued from her prison, she’d had little enough hope left, but now she was sure. The sucking hole in her chest felt a little bit emptier, yet she said nothing. There was nothing to say.

“What was he to you?” Enfys Nest asked. Her earlier statement had been matter-of-fact, but there was real compassion behind this question.

The answer to it wasn’t simple. She’d only known Cassian for a few days, and they’d feuded for most of them. And yet, at the end, there’d been a connection, a bond that would have made them close, that might have turned into more, if only there’d been the time. But there hadn’t. Not for them, not for anyone who’d gone down to Scarif.

“A friend,” was all she said.

“I’m sorry.”  After a moment, Enfys added, “So, have you decided what comes next?”

“What does it matter to you?” Jyn said bitterly. Some part of her knew Enfys meant well, but they weren’t friends, and Jyn had no patience to pretend otherwise. “It’s not like you came to that prison looking to rescue me.”

“Nobody even knew you were alive,” Enfys Nest admitted. She paused as the wind picked up, forcing her to stand in silence until it passed, her long hair blowing across her face. “But I’ve read your file. We have a great deal in common.”

Jyn snorted. “Why? Did the Empire kill your parents too?”

Enfys Nest didn’t laugh. “My mother. Technically, it was the Crimson Dawn, but the syndicates and the Empire are all part of the same corrupt system.”

“Well then I’m sorry too,” Jyn said flatly. She shouldn’t have assumed that Enfys wouldn’t understand her past, but it didn’t make her reach out. Any connection she made was just one more thing to lose, and she couldn’t bear any more.

Instead, she turned, taking several steps in the other direction, and Enfys Nest seemed to get the picture. “It was a long time ago,” was all she replied, and Jyn could hear the sound of her footsteps trailing off before the wind swallowed them up once more.

***

One of the few things that could draw Jyn out of her isolation was food. The fare at the Rebel base wasn’t the best, but it beat the hell out of the meager rations she’d been used to, and there was plenty of it. In prison, she’d lost too much weight, and ever since her escape she’d been ravenous.

Still, she tried to maintain a degree of distance. At meal time, Jyn would carry her tray to an empty corner of the mess and hope that her obvious lack of interest in conversation would keep people away.

After a few days, it had started to work. No one bothered Jyn as she worked her way through a piles of crunchy root vegetables native to Orziv, along with a piece of bread and some preserved meat. At the other tables, there were groups of Rebels eating, laughing, and telling war stories, and in a small way, Jyn wished she could join them, but it was too late. That part of her was gone.

At the center of the mess sat Enfys Nest. While she ate, Rebels kept approaching her with their questions and requests, and she would answer all of them with a friendly efficiency. And yet, even surrounded by her people, she seemed alone.

It was the product of command, Jyn realized. Enfys Nest might like the soldiers under her. She might share their meals, and even a joke or two, but there would always be a distance between them. If the situation demanded it, she had to be willing to send them to their deaths, and everyone involved knew it.

Jyn shook her head ruefully. Why was she starring at Enfys Nest in the first place? Why was she worrying about what the other woman felt? Hadn’t Jyn just done her best to push the Rebel leader away?

 _It’s because you understand something about each other_.  That wasn’t because they both had dead parents, in spite of her flip comment earlier. Jyn had been the one who’d set the rest of Rogue One on the course that cost them their lives, and Enfys Nest knew what that felt like.

The prick of her conscience made Jyn shift uncomfortably in her chair. Enfys Nest had not only rescued her, she’d tried to show some empathy, and Jyn owed her more than a brusque dismissal. As much as she hated to admit it, it was a mistake she needed to rectify. She finished her dinner quickly, and when she saw a break in the stream of visitors to Enfys Nest’s table, she walked over.

The other woman looked up at her as she approached. “Did you want something?”

Her tone was clipped and Jyn held up her hands defensively. “Just to talk.”

“Not now. But you can come by my quarters in couple of hours. I should be done with work by then.”

“Fine,” Jyn said before walking away. It was probably for the best; if she was going to have to embarrass herself, it was better to do it in private.

***

Enfys Nest’s quarters were larger than most of those in the Rebel base, and while they weren’t lavishly furnished, they were certainly interesting. All around the small living room, obscure weapons, a collection of helmets, and other odds and ends were displayed, all of them speaking to what had clearly been an interesting life. Jyn considered asking about them, but decided to stick to her original mission.

“What did you want to talk about?” Enfys Nest asked. She was wearing a loose shirt and well-fitting pants, and in spite of herself, Jyn took note. Not to mention that hair, those freckles…

Nothing good lay that way, and Jyn pushed the thought aside. She’d always been attracted to a range of people, but this was hardly the time. “I need to apologize. Before, you were trying to be a friend, and I was a jerk.”

She could see Enfys Nest release the tension in her posture. “Don’t worry about. You’ve been through a lot.”

“So have you. It doesn’t mean I have to act that way.”

“It’s fine. We’re good.”

Her purpose fulfilled, Jyn turned to leave, but Enfys Nest closed the distance between them with impressive quickness. She put a hand on the back of Jyn’s shoulder. “Look, you don’t have to talk to me, but I’m not sure more alone time is what you need either.”

There was something firm in Enfys Nest’s voice that made Jyn stop short. It wasn’t a threat, but a certainty that the woman knew what she was talking about. “What _do_ you think I need?” she asked, turning on her heel.

“How about a drink?”

“I’ve heard worse ideas.”

The room had a few chairs positioned around a small table, and Jyn settled into one of them while Enfys Nest walked over to a small chest. Reaching inside, she pulled out a bottle filled with a dark liquid, along with a pair of glasses.

“I’ve been saving the last bottle of this stuff for the right occasion. I should warn you, it does have a real kick.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

Enfys Nest filled both glasses and offered one of them to Jyn. “To good soldiers, alive and dead.”

Jyn raised her glass. “To soldiers.”

The liquor burned going down, but Jyn enjoyed the sharpness. It pushed back a little bit of the fog she’d been wandering around in, even as it made her swallow hard. “You weren’t kidding about the kick. That’s good Corellian brandy.”

“It come from the private stock of Moff Gerand. We took him down a year or so back. His response to Rebel attacks was to bomb the whole district where they took place from space, just to make sure he didn’t miss anyone.”

“Bastard.” Jyn thought of Scarif again, of the Empire using the Death Star against their own planet just to make sure the Rebels didn’t get the plans. And of course, there was Alderaan _._ She’d heard about that abomination a couple of days earlier, and she still hadn’t wrapped her mind around it fully.

_I thought the point of this was to get your head out of your ass._

With a sigh, she gulped down the rest of her glass, and poured herself another one. Enfys Nest matched her, but didn’t immediately begin drinking any more.

 _That’s probably a good idea_ , Jyn realized. After six months of losing weight and no alcohol, the first glass was already making her feel a bit lightheaded. “Seems like you’ve got a lot of trophies here,” she said, pointing in the direction of a modified blaster carbine with a blade attachment mounted on one of the walls.

Enfys’ response was to laugh. “I took that off the second assassin the Crimson Dawn sent after me. She was this big Trandoshan who ended up wishing she was a little quieter.”

“What about the first one?”

“There really isn’t a lot of scavenging to do after you get dropped down a reactor shaft.”

Jyn laughed back. It felt good to do that, if only for a moment. “Yeah, I’d imagine not.”

“I keep this stuff to remind me. The places I’ve visited, people I’ve fought with and against, it can all start to blend together if you’re not careful.”

Enfys Nest sounded so much older than her years, and Jyn wondered how long she’d been fighting this war. _About as long as you._ Since the Empire had come to Lah’mu to murder her mother and steal her father. Every day, her memories of the only place she’d truly been happy slipped a little further away. Jyn could barely recall the smell of the grass there, the sound of the rain beating down on their little house… Now, even the necklace that had been her link to that life was gone.

“And does that work for you?”

“Well enough.” Enfys Nest took another sip of her brandy. The drink had brought a flush to her skin, and again, Jyn couldn’t help starring. Enfys Nest was pretty, but more than that, there was something magnetic about her, a quality that people would follow into hell. _Just like they followed me._

At that thought, the darkness rolled over Jyn again, but when she fell silent, Enfys Nest didn’t let her fall down that hole. She reached across the table, putting her hand on Jyn’s. “Give it time. Eventually, it won’t hurt quite so much.”

Jyn pulled back, a vehemence in her voice that surprised her. “I wish it hurt more.”

“What do you mean?”

She practically spat the words. “My friends dying, the Death Star being destroyed… I should be feeling something. All of it should make me proud, or angry, sad, or I don’t know, but more than this.”

As suddenly as it had come over her, the emotion ebbed, and Jyn went slack in her chair. She couldn’t seem to sustain any kind of feeling for long. “You’re numb,” Enfys Nest said softly. “It happens.”

“It’s all too much. I don’t know how I’m supposed about to care about anything when it slips away every time.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I just want to feel something.”

Enfys Nest took back her hand and squeezed. “I know. If there’s anything I can…”

Jyn didn’t let her finish the sentence. A sudden, desperate impulse had seized hold of her, and before reason could object, she leaned across the table and kissed Enfys Nest.


	3. Chapter 3

Enfys Nest might have been surprised by the kiss, but she certainly didn’t shy away from it. Her lips parted at once, and her tongue brushed across Jyn’s. The lingering flavor of the brandy was overwhelmed by the heat of her mouth, and Jyn couldn’t keep from moaning. The sound must have inspired Enfys Nest, because she reached across the table, grabbing Jyn by the shoulders. She might’ve been slim, but it was all lean muscle, letting her pull Jyn to her with surprising ease.

Their glasses crashed to the floor, but neither of them cared. They stumbled to their feet, hands running over each other, lips pressing together. Jyn yanked back Enfys Nest’s long hair, letting her teeth graze the soft skin of the Rebel leader’s throat. A hiss came from Enfys Nest, and her voice was low and hungry when she asked, “Are you sure about this?”

Jyn wasn’t. Not exactly. But it didn’t matter. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and in that moment, there was blood instead of ice running through her veins. After being cold for so long, that mattered more than any kind of a plan for what this might mean.

“Are you?” she snapped back, the question a challenge.

The response she got was another kiss, this one hard enough to leave Jyn breathless. She squeezed Enfys Nest’s firm rear end, even as the Rebel leader was sliding a hand underneath her shirt. Jyn’s back arched as it crept upward, and Enfys Nest’s nipped at her exposed neck. The pressure made Jyn stagger backwards, and Enfys Nest followed, pinning her against the wall.

Jyn was the one who began lifting her shirt, but it was Enfys Nest who finished yanking it over her head. Her hand cupped Jyn’s breast, and when she squeezed it roughly, a low “Fuck,” slipped out of Jyn.

The sound was cut off when Enfys' teeth tugged roughly at her lower lip, but the little spike of pain only increased Jyn’s ardor. The more she felt, the less she needed to do anything else. She gasped into Enfys' mouth, and when the other woman pressed a leg between Jyn’s thighs, she ground down desperately against it. With layers of clothing still between them, the pressure was broad and rough, but was still enough to make Jyn squirm.

They traded fierce kisses until their lips were bruised. In the midst of them, Enfys Nest tore open Jyn’s bra, and the stroke of her thumb across a stiff nipple made Jyn’s legs wobble. She might’ve collapsed entirely, but Enfys Nest wouldn’t let her. Her other hand was wrapped around Jyn’s waist, her grip as iron as her touches were electric.

“More,” Jyn panted, undoing the top button of her own pants. “Please.” She wasn’t used to begging, but after so long floating in limbo, she had to keep moving forward now.

“Of course.”

The hand on Jyn’s breast moved to brush back her hair, while the other slid beneath her panties. When Enfys felt how soaked Jyn already was, she grinned. Two of her fingers pushed inside, and Jyn ground down hard, trying to take them as deep as possible.

When those fingers curled, pressing against her most sensitive spot, Jyn couldn’t muffle a scream of pleasure. She didn’t even think to, grabbing at Enfys Nest’s shoulders as she kissed her mouth, her neck, anywhere she could reach. After so much numbness, the intensity of the feelings were too much, and yet she wouldn’t dream of asking the other woman to stop. Enfys Nest had ignited something inside her, and Jyn needed to let it burn.

“That’s it,” Enfys Nest breathed, “Just go with it.”

Her palm pressed against Jyn’s clit, even as she set a hard pace with her thrusts. Jyn shook, clinging desperately to Enfys Nest as she began to come undone. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d even bothered to give herself a release, and she had no chance of holding back this one.

When Enfys Nest curled inside her again, a shiver ran through Jyn’s body, and the Rebel leader read the sign perfectly. She seized Jyn’s mouth for a deep kiss, drinking in her last, desperate groans. Jyn’s climax seemed to erupt from the depths of her being, burning away the clawing nothingness that she had been drowning in.

She shook in Enfys Nest’s grasp, her inner walls pulsing as her release spilled all over the Rebel leader’s hand. But as sharp, as powerful, as her orgasm was, it was also over far too quickly. Jyn sighed as she slumped back against the wall and all she could manage was a small whimper when Enfys Nest pulled out her sticky hand, wiping it on her pants.

“Was that what you were looking for?” she asked.

Jyn couldn’t form words yet, and although she did manage a nod, that was only half the truth. The sex had been incredible, but there was still a heavy throb between her legs, a need that was proving hard to satisfy.

Apparently that need was written on her face, because Enfys Nest’s next question was, “Do you want more?”

It would be selfish, Jyn knew. Enfys hadn’t even gotten her clothes off, while Jyn was mostly naked and panting from her climax. She hadn’t even started to reciprocate, and yet she still mouthed a soft, “Yes.” Maybe she could hold onto this feeling for just a little bit longer.

Enfys didn’t seem to mind. She nodded, and ran a hand along the top of Jyn’s open pants, teasing the sensitive skin there. “Strip.”

Jyn kicked off her boots, while Enfys Nest tugged her pants the rest of the way down, along with her sodden underwear. The whole mess was then kicked into the corner, leaving Jyn fully naked.

Enfys Nest gave her an appreciative look. “Come with me.”

She led Jyn to an unadorned bedroom, aside from the spacious bed at its center. Jyn gave Enfys Nest a questioning look. “How do you want me?”

Enfys Nest licked her lips. “Get on your stomach. I need to grab something.”

A shiver of anticipation ran through Jyn as she lay down on the neatly made sheets. Behind her, she could hear Enfys Nest rummaging through a drawer. The sounds of clothes being removed followed, and Jyn couldn’t resist sneaking a peak.

Her backward glance was rewarded by a glimpse of flushed, freckled skin. Enfys Nest was definitely striking but what made the sight particularly interesting was the fact that she was in the process of fastening a harness around her waist. Jyn settled back down, and moments later, she felt calloused hands grip her hips. She lifted her ass into the touch, even as Enfys Nest leaned lower, placing a kiss along her back.

Jyn twitched when she felt the tip of the strap-on push against her entrance. The brief break hadn’t been enough to cool her ardor, and it only took two strong thrusts before Enfys Nest was able to slide all the way into her. Jyn groaned at the stretch. She hadn’t gotten a good look at the toy, but it was thick enough to burn.

Not that she minded. Even more than her fingers, the force of Enfys Nest’s thrusts was made Jyn feel alive, locked entirely in the present. Her eyes squeezed shut and she moaned, losing herself in that immediacy. Enfys Nest was relentless, and with Jyn still sensitized from her first climax, the climb back was short. Her hips rocked shamelessly back against Enfys Nest, and her eyes squeezed shut, the better to focus on what she was feeling.

When she slid a hand between her legs to rub her own clit, Enfys Nest caught it. “Let me,” she growled, and Jyn did as she’d been told. Her hand moved aside and Enfys Nest replaced it with her own. The Rebel leader was skillful, trapping Jyn’s clit between two fingers and milking it, each press timed with her powerful strokes.

It wasn’t long before Jyn lost control completely. Her body stiffened, and moans gave way to screams as she clenched around the shaft buried inside her. Even as she peaked, she felt Enfys Nest’s teeth against her back, and the jolt only made Jyn come harder.

This time, Enfys Nest didn’t let up quickly. She did slow for a moment, but even as the waves of Jyn’s climax were starting to ebb, more hard thrusts made her cry out anew. Enfys Nest was draped over her now, her breasts pressing against Jyn. The new position let her apply more kisses to Jyn’s back, fierce things that she mixed in with nipping bites.

All Jyn could do in that position was feel, but that was more than enough. Her face was buried in pillows that did little to muffle the whimpers and screams that Enfys Nest tore out. Beneath her she could feel the sheets becoming damp with her arousal, as well as the sweat that now covered her body. Her lover’s name was too long for her in that state, and so she settled for moaning, “En,” over and over as she was fucked.

Above her, she could feel Enfys Nest’s thrusts becoming wilder, and soon, her moans joined Jyn’s. Jyn felt the fingers on her hips tighten, and the next stroke was so deep that it was almost too much. But not quite. That edge was what Jyn craved, and seconds later, the lightning surged in her once more. This time, Enfys Nest didn’t even slow down, taking Jyn hard through every scream and shock until she was left a limp mess.

Only once she’d slumped boneless onto the mattress did Enfys Nest relent, collapsing on top of her with a long sigh. There was something reassuring about having her weight there, and when Enfys whispered in her ear, “Now, you feel done,” Jyn replied with a pleased, “Mm hmm.”

“Good.” Enfys placed another kiss on Jyn’s back, this one gentler. “I get why you needed that.”

“I really did,” Jyn admitted. Her head was clearer now, and with clarity came a desire not to be a selfish prick. She craned her neck to look at Enfys Nest as she asked, “So, what about you? What do you need?”

“I’m fine. This was for you, Jyn.”

Enfys Nest pulled out slowly, and though Jyn missed the fullness, she could roll over now, giving her a better look at her new lover’s nakedness. Enfys Nest was quite impressive, her body trim and well developed, her skin glistening with sweat. _Plus, the freckles go all the way down_.

She was also flushed, and not just from her exertions. Jyn knew arousal when she saw it, and so she asked, “Really? You seemed pretty into it before.”

“I was,” Enfys Nest conceded, before running a hand along her strap-on. “But this thing has a little attachment at the base for my clit. I already…”

Jyn cut her off with a kiss. “Fine, then. You don’t need me to do anything, but I want to. You deserve it, and besides…” She ran a hand along the curve of Enfys Nest’s breast. “You’re stunning.”

That playful grin returned to Enfys Nest’s face. “If you insist.”

“I do. So, what’s your pleasure?”

“You decide.”

It didn’t take Jyn long to settle on a plan. She didn’t just want to do this, some part of her needed to. The pleasure had made her feel something again, but that wasn’t enough. She had to prove to herself that she was still good for something to someone.

Jyn began by unfastening the harness, and once it was off, she guided Enfys Nest onto her back. Her kisses started at the other woman’s lips before descending to her neck and then her chest. Despite Enfys Nest’s claims about not needing more, it was clear her earlier climax hadn’t entirely satisfied her. From the first kiss she was gasping, and when Jyn reached her breasts, Enfys Nest’s back arched, pressing herself into Jyn’s mouth.

Although Jyn appreciated the reaction, she didn’t linger there for long. Her tongue slid across Enfys Nest’s chest and then down the plane of her stomach. When she paused to kiss the firm muscles there, a hungry moan came from above her.

“Keep going,” Enfys Nest growled, and Jyn was eager to comply. She wanted to see Enfys Nest unravel for her, to repay in some small way all that she owed the other woman.

Enfys Nest was already soaked when Jyn reached the juncture of her legs. Jyn nipped at her inner thighs, and her reward was a low groan. It was a sound that prodded her to continue. She passed her tongue across Enfys Nest’s entrance, and the result was intoxicating. Enfys Nest flooded Jyn’s senses: her thick scent, her heavy flavor, the way her thighs pressed against her. Almost as much as being fucked, the experience absorbed Jyn completely, letting her focus wholly on the now.

Especially when Enfys Nest was so responsive. The control she’d demonstrated earlier was breaking down, replaced with first with needy moans and then whimpers as Jyn dipped into her pussy. She enjoyed the taste, but when it was clear that Enfys Nest needed more, Jyn obliged. After a final jab of her tongue, she shifted upward. Her new lover’s clit was already peeking out, throbbing even before Jyn pulled it between her lips and sucked hard.

She’d expected a reaction, but its force still surprised her. Enfys Nest clutched at Jyn’s head, and her hips pushed down, smearing Jyn’s lips with her arousal. Still more of it spilled out as Jyn drew circles on the stiff point with her tongue, leaving her face sticky.

That only drove Jyn harder. She took hold of Enfys Nest’s hips, doing her best to hold her lover in place as she worked the other woman’s clit relentlessly. It wasn’t something she had to do for long. Not when Enfys Nest was nearly as hungry for release as Jyn had been. Her shortening breath betrayed her approaching climax, and before Jyn’s tongue even had a chance to get sore, Enfys Nest stilled in her grasp.

Her release spilled out over Jyn’s chin, and her clit twitched beneath Jyn’s tongue as she came undone. A long first cry faded into a series of gasps and sighs as Jyn kept licking, pulling every drop of Enfys Nest’s orgasm out of her. When it was finally done, Jyn looked up, meeting Enfys' eyes as she licked her lips clean.

“I guess you needed that too, at least a little.”

Enfys didn’t reply with words, but her panting was agreement enough for Jyn. She crawled up next to her new lover, and for their first time together, the fit was easy. Jyn lay her head on Enfys' chest, letting the Rebel leader drape an arm across her back. Enfys' long fingers stroked the bare skin, while Jyn planted lazy kisses on her lover’s breast. It was a comfortable silence they settled into, one that Jyn was reluctant to break. For as long as it held, she didn’t have to think. She could just be satiated, and languid, and very pleasantly sore, and compared to the alternatives, those were all good things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned on this story being 3 chapters, but there'll be one more to wrap things up after this.


	4. Chapter 4

Somewhere in that comfortable silence, Jyn must have drifted off, because when her eyes blinked open again, there was light coming in through the bedroom window. Beside her, Enfys Nest was already awake and smiling indulgently. “Hey, there,” she said, running a hand through Jyn’s hair. It was a comfortable, intimate gesture, at odds with the frenzy of the previous night, but nice all the same.

“Hey yourself.” Jyn laughed softly. “I really must be out of shape to fold that easily.”

Enfys Nest leaned across the bed and gave her a swift kiss. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. We did have quite a workout.”

“Mm hmm,” Jyn agreed sleepily, curling up against Enfys Nest’s chest. Her head felt clearer than it had in a long time, and she was going to enjoy the feeling while it lasted.

Enfys Nest didn’t seem to mind the closeness, looping an arm around Jyn and languidly stroking her back. “It had been a while for me too.”

That came as a surprise. The Rebel leader was both attractive and charismatic; hardly the sort who should have trouble finding someone to share her bed. “Why’s that?”

“For one thing, I make it a point not to screw anyone under my command. Combined with a preference for women, my options are somewhat limited.”

Jyn placed a kiss on her lover’s cinnamon skin. “That would do the trick.”

“It’s a shame, though. Good sex definitely takes your mind off your problems.” Jyn nodded in agreement and Enfys Nest added, “It doesn’t fix them, though.”

 _And there’s reality again_ , Jyn thought sourly. She’d been enjoying evading it for a little while, but that was never going to last forever. “So what does? You seem to be managing.”

“I do all right.” Beneath her, Jyn could feel Enfys Nest’s chest rise and fall as the other woman sighed deeply. “There’s no magic trick to it, except maybe to keep moving. In this kind of life, you have to look forward.”

Jyn rolled off of Enfys Nest, resting alongside her instead. There was a certain wisdom in those words. The last thing she’d needed after Scarif was six months alone in the dark to think about everything she’d lost. And yet something about the advice didn’t sit quite right. “So I should just forget about what happened? About my parents, my friends, everyone?”

“Never.” There was sudden iron in Enfys Nest’s voice. “Not all my mementoes are from my enemies. My armor belonged to my mother and every time I wear it, I remember her and what she died for. But you can’t live in the past. Whatever’s happened to us, there’s still a whole galaxy out there that deserves to be free.”

“I know that,” Jyn insisted. “It's what I've been fighting for my entire life.”

“Is it? Because if that’s the case, then there’s nothing to do but get back to work. You might have hurt the Empire when you stole those plans, but it’s far from gone.”

Jyn drummed her fingers on the mattress as she thought about the question. Enfys Nest was right; this wasn’t as simple as Jyn had tried to make it out to be. “I don’t know anymore,” she admitted. “Maybe when I started, I wanted revenge for my mother, and then for Saw and my father.” She paused, and gave a little shake of her head. “Except now Krennic’s dead and the Death Star is gone, so I suppose that’s over with.”

“Then don’t fight for them. Fight so that there are no more Jedehs and no more Alderaans. Fight for a better future.”

“And what about for us?” Jyn asked. “What kind of future do people like us get to hope for?”

“We get to hope that some day, this will all be over, and we’ll get to rest.” Enfys Nest flashed her an unusually mischievous smile. “Plus we hope that along the way, we meet some people who can make our journey to that future a bit more pleasant.”

Jyn smiled back. Even now, she could feel the lingering effects of the previous night, a lovely buzz that lightened the burden she’d been buried under. “You certainly did that.”

“So did you.”

The kiss that followed was gentler than the bruising ones they had shared the night before, but it went on just as long. Jyn ran her hands through Enfys Nest’s long hair, while the Rebel leader’s fingers traced a line down her back. Even afterwards, Jyn held Enfys Nest close, burying her face in the other woman’s shoulder. Morning might have come, but she was reluctant to let this bit of peace end quite yet.

Especially not when Jyn hadn’t run out of things she wanted to try. “Is there anywhere you have to be?” she asked playfully, nibbling on Enfys Nest’s ear.

“Not quite yet.” Jyn could see a flash of fire in Enfys Nest’s eyes. The Rebel leader slid her hands along Jyn’s sides, teasing her breasts before reaching the base of her spine. “And don’t worry,” she added as she eased Jyn onto her back and began kissing her way downward, “Unless I’ve lost my touch, we won’t need that long.”

***

Across the landing pad, her X-Wing was waiting, but Jyn felt real ambivalence at the sight of it. Even though her departure had been planned for days, she was reluctant to leave the woman who stood at her side.

“The coordinates for the new Rebel base are programmed into R4-L8,” Enfys Nest told her. “Just give the word, and he’ll guide you there.”

Jyn smiled ruefully as she watched the wind blow Enfys Nest’s hair across her face. It really did make for a lovely picture. “Well, wherever that is, it had better be warmer than here.”

“I hope so,” Enfys Nest replied with a small laugh. “Actually, I don’t know where you’ll be going. The data was transmitted directly onto the disk that I gave to your droid. It’s safer if no one here actually knows the coordinates.”

A knowing nod was Jyn’s response. Fighting against an enemy as powerful and ruthless as the Empire, a little paranoia was a healthy thing. “But you trust the source? I’m not going to end up jumping into an asteroid field or an Imperial base, am I?”

“Not a chance. This comes directly from Leia.”

Jyn had never met the princess, but she was a legend on Orziv. Leia was the woman who’d brought the Death Star plans back to the Rebels after all, not to mention the daughter of one of the Alliance’s founders. Bail, Jyn had met on Yavin IV. He’d been one of the few members of the leadership who’d argued in favor of the mission to Scarif.

And unfortunately, he’d been on Alderaan. “I suppose she’s another person with something to avenge.”

“I’m sure she is. And that’s the Empire’s weakness. They think they can break us with these atrocities, but every one they commit creates more Rebels. That’s why we’ll win in the end.”

“Do you really think that?”

Enfys Nest looked off into the distance as she considered the question. “I believe it. This isn’t the first time the galaxy has starred into the abyss. Before the Republic was founded, there were other dark times, and we survived them.”

“So I’ve been told.” Growing up, Jyn’s mother had regaled her with stories of the great Jedi and Sith of antiquity; of Exar Kun and Nomi Sunrider, of Revan and Malak, and many more. It was hard to say how much of what was in those tales was true, and how much was just myth, but maybe it didn’t matter. “Either way, we don’t have a choice but to keep fighting.”

“You do.” Enfys Nest put a hand on her shoulder, locking their eyes. “No one’s looking for you any more, Jyn. Instead of rendezvousing with the Rebels, you could just take that ship and disappear to the Outer Rim, if you really wanted to.”

Jyn shrugged. “I don’t think so. For better or worse, I’m in this to end.” _Even if that’s a little further off than I’d planned on._

“I’m glad to hear it. We need people like you.” Enfys Nest leaned over and kissed Jyn one more time. It was a farewell, but not a bitter one, and when it ended, Jyn stroked the Rebel leader’s face affectionately.

“You almost make me want to stay.”

Enfys Nest shook her head, but there was regret in her voice as well. “I’m sure the Alliance can find a better use for someone with your skills than working as another gun here on Orziv. Besides, I don’t sleep with the people under my command, remember?”

That made Jyn chuckle slightly. “I do.”

“But this way, if the war should bring us together again…”

Jyn grinned. “I’ll look forward to it.”

“Oh, and if you run into Han Solo, tell him I was right about him.” Jyn cocked her head quizzically, and Enfys Nest added, “He’ll know what I mean.”

“I’ll do that then.”

There was a lump in Jyn’s throat as she took a last, fond look at Enfys Nest. Whatever happened to them in the years to come, Jyn would always be grateful to her. Not just for the rescue, but for helping her to feel again. What they’d shared might have been brief, but it was powerful all the same, two warriors who’d found a connection, and a little joy, in one another.

“May the Force be with you, Enfys,” she said at last.

“And with you, Jyn.”

Taking a deep breath, Jyn turned and began walking toward the X-Wing. Though she didn’t relish leaving, in her breast was a bit of the hope she had tried to give to others. Behind her, she could feel Enfys Nest’s eyes on her, and somehow, she had faith this wouldn’t be the final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes this brief trip down rare pair lane. Thanks for reading, especially since I know it's not my usual fandom. I hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought I was done with this story, but it thought otherwise, so here's some more We Go On, picking up around Episode VI.

Above her, the shuttle’s engine roared, the wind of its departure sending her hair whipping across her face. It was a rare thing for her to be in the field with her helmet off, but given where she was, the armor of Enfys Nest, notorious leader of the Cloud Riders and famed Rebel commander, would be a bit too conspicuous.

The massive world-city of Coruscant sprawled beneath her, buzzing with the lives of more people than a girl from the Outer Rim would’ve believed existed. Buildings taller than any tree but just as numberless were visible from the landing pad, perched as it was atop one of the highest of their number.

 _And here I am, to bring the whole thing crashing down._ _Or at least Empire that controls it._

From across the landing pad, a lone figure walked toward her. He was thoroughly average, neither tall nor short, just a plain man with brown hair and green eyes dressed in a mid-priced suit, just another cog in the vast bureaucracy that operated the Empire’s war machine. And that was his advantage. Few would’ve believed that someone so thoroughly unremarkable had been, for years, the Rebellion’s most valuable asset on Coruscant.

“Terrax Han,” she said, making the appropriate hand signal as he drew closer.

He gave the counter-sign. “Enfys Nest. It’s an honor to meet you. I’ve heard stories.”

“Likewise. The intelligence you’ve passed along has done more good for the Rebellion than a hundred men with blasters.”

Terrax didn’t meet her eyes, seemingly unused to the praise. She could only imagine how lonely it had been for him, sending his reports to the Rebels in anonymity, knowing that the possibility of arrest and an agonizing death lurked behind every transmission. Whatever dangers Enfys had faced, at least she’d had friends by her side and a weapon in her hand.

“I’m nothing special. Just someone who eventually saw the truth.” He swept his hand out, indicating the vast cityscape beneath them. “All of this is built on misery. It has to end.”

“With a little luck, it soon will.”

They followed him to the sky-van parked on the other side of the roof, Enfys, and the half dozen commandos she’d brought along. It would’ve been simpler to use local operatives, but the job was too big for the handful of men the Rebels had in place on Coruscant, and too vital for her to be without people she could count on.

Those she’d picked had fought beside her for years, a couple from before there was even a Rebel Alliance for the Cloud Riders to be a part of. But only a couple. War had taken far too many of her comrades, and crippled others, whether in body or mind.

“We’ve established a staging area in a largely abandoned industrial sector about 20 minutes flight from here,” Terrax told her once they were underway. “The rest of the team is already there waiting for you.”

“Sorry we were late. Navigating customs takes time here on Coruscant, as I’m sure you know.”

Kessie had a smirk on her face, but as was her habit, she was selling the difficulties they had faced short. Sitting on the stolen shuttle, waiting to see if their cover identities would hold, had been one of the more nerve-wracking moments of Enfys’ life. Battle was one thing, but if the Imperial cruisers had seen through Kessie’s forged identities, they’d have been space dust before they could get a shot off.

Still, Kessie’s work was the best, which was why there was no way Enfys was going to take on this mission without the short, dark hacker by her side. _I just hope I can get her back off the planet in one piece._

“Well, I’m glad you made it,” Terrax said. “When the Alliance told me what they were planning here, I half thought they’d lost their minds, but with you in charge, maybe we’ve got a chance. Still, I do wonder… Do you wish you could be on Endor? I’m no solider, but to actually have a shot at the Emperor himself is a hard thing to pass up.”

“It was temping,” Enfys agreed, “But this was too important. What we’re doing tomorrow is about more than killing one man, even if it’s the Emperor himself. We have a chance to bring down the whole rotten system, and if we fail, who knows how long this could go on for?”

“Besides, compared to blowing up a Death Star, this op will be a breeze,” Kessie said. “All we have to do is sneak past a planet full of Imperials, bust into their HQ, and not get dead in the process. Child’s play.”

“If we die, we die,” Slek said from the backseat of the sky-van. The sniper spoke little, and never about his past, but everyone in the unit could tell how much he’d lost before joining them. “This is worth it.”

***

Jyn Erso paced uneasily across the factory floor. She was surrounded by a mixture of disused industrial machinery and fellow Rebels, neither of which was very comforting. The silent soldiers were as anxious as she was, while the creaking hunks of metal loomed ominously, symbols of the inevitable breakdown of all things.

“So, where is this commander anyway?” A hulking soldier with a twitch below his left eye finally asked. “Do you think they might’ve gotten picked up by the Imps?”

“I don’t know. But we’ve still got time. The fleet doesn’t begin its attack until tomorrow.”

Indeed, Jyn didn’t even know who they were waiting for. For security’s sake, the only thing she’d been told was that there was a high ranking Rebel leader on their way to Coruscant, and that she would be in charge of the mission if they didn’t make it. _Which is more than most of these poor bastards got._ Compartmentalizing information could be frustrating, but it also stopped the Rebellion from dying in an Imperial torture chamber.

“We don’t have enough men,” another, shorter soldier complained. He twirled his blaster pistol around his finger, a nervous habit that had grown steadily more annoying with each passing hour. “This isn’t some fucking listening post we’re knocking over. If we don’t get reinforcements…”

“Don’t worry, we’re here.”

The confident tones carried across the factory, and Jyn’s head jerked toward them. She might not have heard that voice in three years, but she’d never forgotten it, nor the face that went with it. Enfys Nest had cut her hair, and the years had put a few more lines on her freckled skin, but otherwise she might well have stepped out of one of Jyn’s memories.

“Enfys,” she managed to say through her shock. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it has, Jyn.”

There was a hint of a smile on Enfys’ face, but it didn’t linger there. Enfys strode into the midst of the Rebels every inch the hardened soldier, asserting her command by the mere force of her presence. The small group of commandos that followed her were almost as striking. Some, like Kessie, Jyn recognized from Orziv, while others were new, but all carried a seriousness with them.

It was Enfys that drew the room’s attention, though, and when she reached the center of the gathering, she began at once. “Hello, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me already, I’m Enfys Nest.”

She needed a pause to let the awed murmurs die down. Outside of the heroes who’d destroyed the first Death Star, there were few names that commanded more respect. Most of those who’d started the Alliance like Bail Organa and Saw Gerrera were long since dead. Mon Mothma and Enfys Nest were two of the few with a chance to see this war all the way through.

“Around one o’clock tomorrow, Coruscant time, the Rebel fleet will launch an attack on the new Death Star currently under construction around the moon of Endor. But this is more than an attack on another Imperial super weapon. This time, the Emperor himself will be on board.”

Another murmur rippled through the assembled Rebels, this one laced with excitement. Not all of them had known about this part of the mission, and even for Jyn, hearing the words said aloud was a thrill. She thought Scarif had been important, but this was a chance to kill the monster from whom all the miseries of the past 20 years had ultimately flowed.

“But even if we kill Palpatine, it might not be the end of the war,” Enfys continued. “When the news spreads that he’s dead, there’s going to be a moment when everything hangs in the balance. We believe that the people here are going to rise up, but the Empire will able to crush that rising if someone else steps up and takes control of the war machine. A lot of the people who could do that are going to be on the Death Star too, but not all of them. One of the Moffs in the High Command or one of the leaders of the bureaucracy here on Coruscant might be able to step into the void as well.”

“That’s where we come in. While the fleet launches its attack, we’re going to break into the palace and blow those people straight to hell. With any luck, that will paralyze the Imperial response long enough to allow a revolution that will bring their whole stinking New Order crashing down.”

“Long odds,” a lean, scarred woman whose accent suggested she was a native said. “You’re talking about attacking the most heavily guarded building on the whole planet with a few dozen men.”

“I am,” Enfys agreed. Her eyes were hard, her voice steady. “Security is somewhat reduced without the Emperor in residence there, and we’ve got a plan, but it’s still going to be tough. For something like this, I’m not dragging anyone along, so if you want out, now’s the time to say so.”

No one did. Not that Jyn would’ve expected differently. There might have been fear in that room, but there was also hope. These men and women had fought for years, sometimes decades, for a chance like this one. They weren’t going to turn back now, no matter how long the odds.

***

After an hour and a half spent discussing logistics, Enfys had given everyone the rest of the evening to themselves. Downstairs, the rest of the soldiers were eating and drinking, gambling and telling war stories, and otherwise doing their best to hold back the knowledge of what they were about to face.

Jyn knew she should be with them. In the years since being freed from prison, she’d tried her best to become human again, to be a part of whatever team she found herself on. Sometimes, she’d even succeeded. But not tonight. Tonight, she was in an office two floors up, sitting on an abandoned desk and brooding.

Which, naturally, hadn’t stopped Enfys Nest from finding her. The echo of her booted footsteps gave Jyn plenty of warning, but she still hadn’t decided on what to say when the other woman walked into the room.

“Hello, Jyn. How have you been?”

That was exactly the question she wasn’t prepared to answer. Should she say that the last three years had been filled with blood and smoke and death? There was no point; surely, Enfys’ time had been spent the same way. Should she tell Enfys that night after night, she would dream of a landing platform burning in the rain, and of a wave of fire screaming toward a beach, and wake up alone, covered in cold, sticky sweat. Or that, when she was lucky, she would dream of red hair and freckles, and make it through the night a little better?

All that she managed to come up with was, “I survived.”

“So I see.” Enfys took a step closer, her voice more gentle now. “I worried, you know.”

Jyn wasn’t sure if the concern had been friendly, or something more, and she wasn’t certain she wanted to know. “I did too,” she replied, acid suddenly on her tongue. “Especially the year I didn’t know if you were alive or dead.”

She could see the stiffening of Enfys’ spine, the iron of a woman who backed down from no one coming to the surface. “We were shot down over Ryloth and spent the next few months crawling from one bolt hole to the next, barely ahead of the Stormtroopers. There wasn’t exactly a chance to check in with Alliance command.”

Jyn shook her head at her own anger. It wasn’t Enfys’ fault that Jyn was already carrying so many ghosts. That every time she lost track of someone she cared about, panic threatened to overwhelm her. Enfys was the one who’d saved Jyn, not the one who hurt her, and so she slid off of the desk and tried another approach. “I know. I heard the story later on. It’s just…”

“I know.” Now, it was Enfys’ turn to let go of her anger. She erased the rest of the distance between them, and took Jyn’s hands in hers. “I thought about you often, these last three years.”

There was a tenderness in those green eyes, but Jyn feared to meet them fully. It had been hard enough to worry about Enfys from a distance; knowing that she might watch her die tomorrow was unbearable, even without rekindling old affections.

She pulled her hands back and half turned, looking away. “You could’ve asked me to stay with you on Orziv.”

“As what? You had to be a soldier, and I had to be their leader. The pieces wouldn’t have fit.”

“And now? You’re still the leader and I’m still a soldier.”

Enfys took a step to the side, letting her face Jyn squarely once more. “Now it’s all going to end, one way or another, and I’m asking what you want to do with the last night before it does.”

Unlike their first time, Jyn wasn’t sure who started this kiss. They moved as one, finding each other as easily as if only an instant had passed since the last one. There were a hundred other things Jyn might have asked first, but there wasn’t time and they didn’t matter. Not when Jyn knew all at once that it was too late to turn back. Tomorrow, she would fear for Enfys no matter what, so tonight she might as well make the choice that she wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

Enfys’ heart was racing as Jyn leapt into her arms. She’d lost count of how many times over the last few years she’d imagined a moment like this. Their time together had been brief, but it had made its mark, leaving behind a craving that Enfys could only now fulfill. Sending Jyn away on Orziv had made sense, but sense wasn’t the language her body spoke in.

Jyn’s enthusiasm matched Enfys’ own. They traded kisses filled with fire even as they grabbed at one another’s clothing, both of them hungry for more. Enfys didn’t both getting Jyn’s shirt all the way off, opening it just far enough to slide a hand up along her stomach. When she gave Jyn’s breast a squeeze, her reward was a low groan.

One of Jyn’s hands fisted in her hair, and Enfys tipped her head back, exposing her throat.  Jyn went straight for it, sucking on the hollow point at its base, and it was Enfys’ turn to groan. It had been so long since she’d been touched like this, her last years filled with cold, lonely nights spent in bunkers and ditches. She grabbed hold of Jyn’s rear, pulling them tighter. Every passing second only reinforced how much she wanted this, wanted Jyn.

As if reading her mind, Jyn breathed, “I missed you.”

“I’m here.” Enfys pulled her shirt up over her head, letting Jyn scatter kisses on her chest. “We’re here.” _At least tonight we are._

Tomorrow might well bring death, and even if it didn’t, the future was unknowable. Tonight, though… tonight, they had each other. Jyn pulled back just long enough to remove her shirt and bra, and when they came together again, Enfys savored the feel of bare, flushed skin against her body. She cupped Jyn’s breasts, letting the nipples harden against her palms. A hungry hiss came from her fellow rebel, as Jyn bite her lip to stifle some louder noise. Determined to break that control, Enfys leaned in, taking one of Jyn’s nipples in her mouth. A harsh suck elicited the cry she wanted, along with the feel of strong fingers digging into her bare shoulders.

Enfys saw new scars as she made her way down Jyn’s chest, but she did her best not to worry about their origins. War stories could wait for them to survive the war. For now, she was more interested in kissing the soft skin that surrounded them.

Before she reached the top of Jyn’s pants, the rebel was already unbuttoning them. Enfys yanked hard, and they came down along with her underwear, exposing a sex that already glistened with arousal. She gripped Jyn’s hips, shoving her back against the wall. A low growl came from Jyn, and she thrust her hands into Enfys’ hair, squeezing hard. The pressure brought a little pain, but that only drove Enfys harder. Without further preamble, she plunged her tongue into Jyn, lapping up her wetness hungrily.

That single cry turned into a longer string of them, and Enfys had to hope no one was close enough to hear, because she wasn’t going to help Jyn be quiet. Once she’d had her fill of her lover, she replaced her tongue with a pair of fingers, delving deep into Jyn’s sopping pussy before curling against the spongy spot along her front wall. That freed her tongue to search out Jyn’s clit, and Enfys stroked the throbbing bud in time with her thrusts, loving every moan she drew out.

Her own body was flushed as well, but as turned on as Enfys was, she still craved Jyn’s orgasm first. She wanted to give her lover a respite from the weariness and the fear she’d heard in her voice, to gift her with one last moment of joy before what might be the end.

Enfys clutched onto Jyn as she pleasured her, fingers digging in not just for balance but out of a need to hold her lover close. She wanted to feel every detail of Jyn’s reactions, every twitch of her hips, every quiver in her legs that signaled her approaching climax. “En,” Jyn mouthed, over and over, until even that one word collapsed into a long, primal groan.

Seconds later, Jyn hit her limit. Her grip tightened and Enfys gasped in response. The vibrations across her clit drove Jyn even wilder. Her knees failed and she slumped against the wall, only held up by Enfys’ strong grip. Enfys had no intention of letting her go, thrusting and licking until she’d drawn out all Jyn had to give.

Only when Jyn’s hands went slack and her cries turned to little whimpers did Enfys relent. She eased out slowly, placing a final kiss on the quivering head of Jyn’s clit before she took her lover into her arms. There was a lovely smile on Jyn’s face, exactly the look of uncomplicated bliss that Enfys had wanted to see. She ran a hand across Jyn’s cheek and grinned back, happy to savor the moment until the rebel was ready to speak again.

“Worth the wait,” Jyn finally panted. For once, she sounded at peace.

Enfys leaned in for a kiss that went on until Jyn’s balance returned. “I’m glad. I’ve been waiting too.”

Jyn brushed a hand across Enfys’ breast. It was still covered by her bra, but even through the material, the contact made Enfys exhale sharply. “Seems to me you still are.”

“I enjoyed this last part.”

Jyn’s tongue swiped over her lips, a suggestive motion that put jut the right kind of ideas in Enfys’ head. “I bet you did. But I’m still thinking you need…”

“Oh yes. How do you want me?”

Jyn took a look around the office before patting the top of the desk. “That’ll do.”

Enfys shucked off what was left of her clothing while her lover swept a few miscellaneous items of off the desk. When she sat down, the hard surface was cool against her skin, but that problem was swiftly solved. In a flash, Jyn’s lips were pressed against Enfys’ chest, while her warm hands caressed the rebel leader’s sides.

Jyn wasn’t the only one with new scars, and when her fingertips brushed across a line crossing Enfys’ spine, she paused. The question was clear in her eyes, so Enfys said, “Force pike.”

That was good enough for Jyn. Instead of probing further, she bent low, making Enfys moan at the feel of soft lips closing around her nipple. There were so many things one couldn’t do for oneself, and this was a pleasure she’d definitely missed. She stroked Jyn’s hair, letting her touch show the affection that she didn’t have the breath to vocalize.

Jyn was more patient than Enfys had been. She lingered on Enfys’ breasts, her mouth leaving both nipples slick and straining from her attentions. Everywhere her lips or hands touched, Enfys’ skin burned. This had become more than something she more than wanted, it was a need that made her heart pound against her ribs and her sex throb with anticipation. A needy, “Jyn,” slipped out, and her lover tilted her head up and smiled.

“Eager, aren’t we?”

Enfys mouthed a, “Yes,” and Jyn knelt, settling in between the rebel leader’s legs. They parted and as Jyn nipped at her inner thighs, Enfys closed her eyes, too sensitive to do anything but feel. The anticipation made her tremble, and mercifully it wasn’t long before Jyn reached her prize. Maybe because it had been so long it only took a few strokes across her clit before Enfys was rocking helplessly under Jyn’s ministrations. She had to grip down on the edge of the desk for balance, shuddering with every pass of her tongue.

“Hells,” she muttered. “Almost…” Enfys broke off as Jyn drew her clit between her lips. “Almost forgot…”

Jyn pressed her tongue against the head and Enfys stopped trying to finish the thought. Instead, she opened her eyes, drinking in the sight of Jyn beneath her. As if feeling her gaze, Jyn looked up, locking their eyes even while her tongue kept working. The passion she saw there, the electricity of their connection, shot straight through Enfys. She was close already, her body quivering with a building pleasure that turned in an instant to ragged frustration when Jyn withdrew.

“What are you doing?” Enfys panted.

Jyn said nothing, instead standing up and looping one arm around Enfys’ back. An instant later, Enfys felt two fingers push against her opening, followed by Jyn’s lips crashing into her own. The kiss swallowed up the moans she let out as Jyn took her hard. Her fingers hooked inside Enfys, dragging along her most sensitive spot, and it didn’t take many thrusts before it was too much.

Enfys’ climax exploded out from the deepest part of her. Her body stiffened, while her inner walls clamped down hard, trapping Jyn’s fingers. When Jyn withdrew from the kiss, Enfys was free to cry out, all the louder when Jyn’s teeth dragged down her neck. The pleasure went on and on, drawing out a long series of moans and cries that lasted until the last shocks faded and she slumped forward into Jyn’s arms.

Her limbs felt like rubber, and she couldn’t do much to help out as Jyn eased her down onto the floor. “One sec,” Jyn said, and though Enfys missed her lover’s warmth, it was worth it when she returned with a bedroll pulled out of her bag. The two of them slid inside, enjoying the tight fit. It felt so nice to have someone next to her on this last night, someone to help hold back the coming darkness.

_No. Not just someone. Jyn._

She stroked the curve of Jyn’s jaw, pausing when the rebel placed a kiss on her knuckles. “I’m so glad you they sent you here.”

Jyn nuzzled against her, her hair brushing across Enfys’ face. “So am I. Sorry about switching it up at the end, by the way. I just wanted to be kissing you.”

“I understand. On a night like this...”

“Yeah.” It must have been the wrong thing to say, because Jyn looked away, suddenly distant despite the closeness. “The last time, there were things I didn’t say or do until it was too late. At least this part can be different.”

Enfys could hear the anguish in Jyn’s voice, a pain that made her heart ache. “Other parts can too,” she insisted, unsure if she was trying to convince herself or Jyn. “I know this may feel like Scarif all over again, but it doesn’t have to end the same way. We’ve both been on tough missions before.”

“And did they ever turn out clean?”

Enfys shook her head, trying not to focus on the ghostly faces that question summoned up. “No.”

“No,” Jyn repeated, pressing her lips against Enfys’ collarbone. “We’ve both given so much to this war already. It doesn’t feel fair.”

“It isn’t. But it still has to be done.”

“I know that. And whatever happens, I’m with you to the end.”

Enfys took Jyn’s face in her hands. This kiss was gentler than the ones they’d exchanged in the heat of passion, but no less special. The warmth of it spread through Enfys’ body, and she wished this could last longer, that they could hole up here until it was all over. So many were gone already: her mother, her fellow rebels, her friends. The Empire shouldn’t have Jyn too.

The pleasurable jolt when Jyn’s fingers teased one of her nipples pulled Enfys back to reality. They might not be able to hide out here forever, but whatever time they could steal, Enfys would cherish all the more because it was short. She grinned. “We do need to sleep before the war ends, you know.”

There was a definite cockiness to the smile Jyn shot back. “I don’t need very long to make you scream. What about you?”

Enfys ran her hands up Jyn’s sides, enjoying the gasp when her thumbs brushed across the rebel’s breasts. “I think you know the answer to that question already.”


End file.
